"....In Which Lennon Clears the Air..."

I was on a date with a particularly gorgeous Louisiana transplant with one of the most lovely asses I've ever seen. The first time we got together a while back, we had a few drinks and got sort of frisky in the park. We didn't actually have sex, but we'd done enough fooling around that night to leave me curious. I kept in relatively frequent contact from then on.

After checking out an awesome live performance where she ended up meeting the friends, we ran off to a little out of the way jook joint (think of the first date club scene in Love Jones). The concept here was not necessarily for us to actually dance. I...just don't do that. It's my theory that guys shouldn't really dance on a date unless they've been on America's Best Dance Crew. I mean, let's be honest...when was the last time an average joe was just tearing up the dance floor doing the robot and a woman thought to herself, "I would totally fuck him." Just a snap and a light movement of the hips to show that you can keep the beat will do it. The idea was to offer a venue with a possibility for dancing, fast beats, basslines and basically things that suggest rhythmic movement in close quarters. In other words, sex. My friends took the hint and "retired" for the night. The woman held her liquor better than me which was once a difficult task. As we were getting more drinks from the bar, I could tell she felt the mood to dance coming over her. I got close enough to that our bodies were teased with the thought of touching (Pro-Tip: Most of what I do follows 90/10 law...Go 90% of the way and let her come the last 10%). Just as it looks like she's about to get something started, she playfully pushes me back if she's going to start of fucking dance battle.

Her: Come on. Let me see something.

Me: Here?

Her: Let me see what you got.

Me: What I...got?

Her: Yeah, I know how men are. They want the women to do all the work.

Me: They do?

Her: Yeah, they want men to grind all over them. They want the stripper show.

Me: Umm...listen, dear....

Her: Women want men to give them something to think about, too.

This moment brings me to my point. In truth, I couldn't have given a damn how she wanted to dance. If she decided to moonwalk all over the place, I would have still wanted to sleep with her. But she had me pegged. She just knew I was trying to make a stripper out of her. Because, as far as she's concerned, that's "how men are." I suspect there are several men reading this who've heard this applied to them in different circumstances. Am I the only one who notices how often some women complain about men being all the same, but pass judgment on them before they even open their mouths? Men are pretty simple. If a guy really likes a woman, he might do something to try and change her mind. But for the most part, guys don't like being placed into a category right at step one. Nobody does. In fact, I bet it never occurs to these women that men keep acting the same because they're treated the same (the ones that stick around long enough to sleep with them, anyway).

Think about it. Generally, men only do what gets them laid. When women decided that Iron Man had brought Robert Downey Jr. back into fashion and they thought he was sexy, dudes turned up with goatees left and right. Hell, I have a goatee. If women all decided that they would fuck Trekkies if they had the chance, every man you know would show up to work the next morning dressed like Captain Kirk. By this logic, it stands to reason that when a woman indicates that she's made up her mind that men are a certain way, a man is either going to adhere to those parameters long enough to get what he wants....or walk away. Either way, I think a lot of women will end up disappointed by the end results.

And for the record: I ended up dancing. I'm not saying anymore than that.