"....In Which Lennon Introduces Himself..."

My name is Lennon, I'm single, 29 years old and I live a love life that is an A-list sitcom at its best and a sequel to Paranormal Activity at its worst. Since whatever day I decided girls didn't have cooties anymore, I've met some bizarre members of the fairer sex as well some truly incredible people that have earned a level of respect few ever achieve. I've experienced more love than some people know in their entire lives and endured more than heartbreak than I would ever wish upon my worst enemy. Nowadays, I just go out looking for some semblance of company. Sometimes, it's romantic while other times, it's intellectual, but it's always sexual (or at least I'm always looking for it to be). As a writer, I found it to be sort of a crime not to share some of these misadventures with those of you who care to read them.


I was on the bus, heading home from work and I couldn't help but overhear (over my earphones..."noise cancelling" my ass) two women discussing their relationships, one of which was pregnant. The most interesting part came from the pregnant woman who went on and on.....and on about how she wore the pants in her relationship, describing how she makes it as difficult as humanly possible for her man to get back into her good graces even when she's not really mad. You have no idea how often I hear this sort of thing and all I can think is "Really?!" There are so many questions I ask myself. Is it really necessary to assemble such an elaborate set of hoops to jump through? Is this what some women mean by "training" their men? Are there men so damaged that they find it fun to be nagged and fussed at for pure sport? Are these the same women that are shocked when they find bathroom pictures of other women in their men's computers? Now, I'm NOT advocating cheating on any level, but I just want to take the time to point something out here.

When they get home from work, most men I know are thinking, in this order....
1). Kiss her hello
2). Shower
3). Dinner
4). Sex
5). Cuddle
6). Bed

I'm sorry, but that sounds like Heaven on Earth.

I have female friends who are of the mind that, somehow, it's a man's lot in life to endure fussing and nagging from his other half. The idea is that being in your boyfriend/husband/whatever's face about trash and dishes when he comes home from work strengthens the relationship. This seems counter productive in nature.

By this logic, my relationship with my boss should be stronger when we're short staffed and I have to take up the slack. My friend and I got pulled over a week ago by the police. When they were running my friend's license plate information, I overheard dispatch reporting a possible robbery in progress five or six blocks from where we were. A cop who could have been preventing a real crime was nagging us over a "licence tag light." Was my relationship with the cop supposed to be stronger?

Then, why run your mate up the flag when all he wants to do is get along? I know the old adage gets a lot of play, but should love really be a battlefield? Is it possible that maybe there are some women going about things the wrong way? If love looks that much like war, is it love?