In Which Lennon Realizes What Love Has Become....

         One of the reasons I usually hate Valentine's Season (January 14th - February 14th) isn't the force-fed feelings and capitalism. I understand the necessity of that. If nothing else, I expect America to excel at squeeze every and any penny fathomable out of every societal comfort we take. My issue has always been with the people who take time out of their day to make fun of the lonely. Often times, I look around and I see turmoil and sadness. I see people drowning in their own depression, choking on it. Periodically, despite the apparent concensus that I'm some hateful cynic, I like to send messages out, spread some positivity and remind people that they have value with or without someone to buy chocolates for. Of course, this inevitably brings me to my overbearing-former-almost-romance.

As it turns out, the relationship she was in when we last saw each other didn't work out. I don't know why and even if I did care, it's not my concern. The result is these her falling into a state of despair that leaves her posting a lot of what a friend of mine refers to a "lonely girl" status updates on Facebook. You've seen lonely girl statuses before.

"Rain is perfect cuddle weather. Wish I had someone to cuddle with. Oh, well...I'll settle for this wine and candles."

"I cooked the hell out of this dinner. Can't wait to cook for my husband...wherever he is."

"I can't wait to be married" (This is actually a real one)

Anyway, on Valentine's Day, I'd just come home from work and was having dinner when I noticed her posting particularly vague, sad statuses that left me genuinely concerned. Despite what happened (or didn't happen) between us, I still consider her a dear friend whom I'd do anything for. I reached out to offer some support and the following ensued.

Me: You okay?

Her: I am just tired. That's all.

Me: I think that's true of us all at one point or another.

Her: Yeah.

Me: That shit passes, though. Live your life as best you can. If you really want what you want, you'll have it. You're a lovely woman with a big heart, one of the best I know. My status yesterday meant you, too. You are worthy. You have value.

Her: Thanks, but I couldn't even get you to love me so I'm just done.

This moment is the entire problem with dating and relationships. She, like many people, wanted something and needed a vessel through which to gain it the same way some people choose surrogates to have children for them when they themselves are unable. Instead of people getting to know each other, sharing lives, trying to figure out whether a union between the two of them makes sense, we have people treating courtship like gambling at a racetrack.

"I want money and this horse is going to win it for me if I have to ride the fucker like Zorro" is the same as saying...... "I want to a marriage. I want flowers and tea sandwiches and dancing and 50 Facebook albums of the wedding and guess what, motherfucker? YOU are going to give it to me even if I have to strap you to my back and carry you across the altar. YOU."

Related Fun Facts:

-Symbiosis: a close and often long-term interaction between two or more different biological species.

-Parasite: is a non-mutual relationship between organisms of different species where one organism, the parasite, benefits at the expense of the other, the host.


The sad truth is that somewhere along the way, she's convinced herself that relationships don't require two  interested parties as long as one of them wants it badly enough. For her, love has become a prize to be won at the end of an imaginary finish line. She's got the rest of her life with another independent, sentient being planned out in her head....and a cookie cutter space where the other person is supposed to be. She doesn't want to be married. She wants a wedding, a tangible symbol of "maturity" and accomplishment to parade in front of her friends.

It may just be me, but you shouldn't try to MAKE someone love you. People either love you or they don't. It's organic. If there's one thing that I learned from my picked scab of a former romance, it's that love isn't one person trudging uphill pulling the other person's carriage. Love is just two people who make sense even if it's only to each other.

In Which Lennon Apologizes For Not Posting For a While.....

Well, I know I've been away for a while, but there's a specific reason for that. I make it my business to disappear at least a month prior to Valentine's Day. Though I do, at the very least, keep contact with women I'm seeing (sleeping with), I don't go out on dates or anything that could be considered a date until February 16. In my experiences, going out with a woman more than once too close to Feb. 14 can sometimes present the wrong idea: that they're getting something special for Valentine's Day. And this is going to sound awful, but....it's just not going to happen. It's not that I'm "too good" to do something special. If I were in a committed relationship and my partner wanted something special, I'd almost certainly oblige. For all I care, we could have rooftop candlelight dinner with origami cranes hanging off the moon and a private concert from Prince. But outside of relationships, me doing anything special just ends badly later. The upside of to this year's "cuffing season" is that it ended with the coming of All Star Weekend.

For those of you that don't follow basketball....once a year, the best players in the NBA are assembled into two teams representing the East and the West who play each other for a couple of hours while celebrities from everywhere get their pictures taken being...well...celebrities. This year, these events took place here in Houston. What did this mean for the common people? A few things.....

1). Any club that a celebrity makes an appearance in will automatically have a $50 cover charge. In case you asked....yes, people actually pay this much money. No, the celebrities don't give you a complimentary rimjob upon entry. And yes, people STILL pay this much money. Because people are stupid.

2). Historically, an assembly of rich athletes such as this one almost certainly attracts (some...not all) women willing to sleep with them just for being famous. Try to imagine the Running of the Bulls in Spain, but instead of bulls, the streets are flooded with golddiggers and groupies.

3). This many desperate women on the prowl means that there's a pretty good chance that plenty of everyday men who play their cards right can get lucky.

4). Since All Star Weekend gave me plenty of material to expound upon, I'll have plenty to share with you all for the next couple of entries.

Stay Tuned.....

In Which Lennon Makes the Obligatory Valentine's Day Post.....

Well, Valentine's Day is upon us and love is in the air....or is that capitalism? I can never tell around this time of year. Anyway, I'm sure there are plenty of fellas out there who've been roped into making an event out of V-Day and while I won't be participating this year, I can at least advocate that you do it right. Here, I've given a suggestion or two for something you last minute planners might do, eclectic songs to set the mood and even a few decent lines for your card. Because I care. Enjoy.

My Picks:

Things to Do (in Houston, at least)......

Chthulu: A Puppet Play- Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like it is. You know the basic outline of an H.P. Lovecraft horror story? Lovecraftian horror goes as follows: Something (usually with tentacles) evil is locked away and it wants to get out and destroy the world. If you've ever read one of his novels, I know you thought, just as I did, that it would make a divine puppet show. Your prayers have been answered. This is something slightly out of the box that would be suitable for those who want to do something unconventional yet memorable. Not a bad way to spend ten bucks.

Music Picks:

Erykah Badu "Orange Moon"
Anthony Hamilton "Change Your World"
Lauryn Hill and Bob Marley "Turn Your Lights Down Low"

Michael Jackson "One More Chance"

Amy Winehouse "To Know Him is to Love Him" (acoustic version)

The Foreign Exchange "Daykeeper"

Jill Scott "Easy Conversation"

Poetry Quotes for Your Card:
“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving.” ~Pablo Neruda

“I love you because no two snowflakes are alike, and it is possible, if you stand tippy-toe, to walk between the raindrops. ” ~Nikki Giovanni

“Where there is a woman there is magic. If there is a moon falling from her mouth, she is a woman who knows her magic, who can share or not share her powers. A woman with a moon falling from her mouth, roses between her legs and tiaras of Spanish moss, this woman is a consort of the spirits.” ~Ntozake Shange