"...In Which Lennon Avoids Male Sabotage..."

I've discovered further proof that men are each other's downfalls. I was thinking about the psychotic woman I wrote about in my last two posts (Follow Up: I haven't heard from her since her four attempts at contacts. I think she's got the message at this point.). On our first....and thankfully last date, we ran into a longtime friend of mine who works nearby. He literally took one look at the woman and pulls me to the side.

Him: Is that the wife?

Me: Come on, man....you know better than that.

Him: So...no?

Me: No.

Him: You need to make her one.

It's important to keep in mind that he'd yet to introduce himself let alone engage her in any form of conversation. All he needed to see was boobs and ass before immediately thinking "Wow, Lennon really needs to snap that up.

I brought me back to another instance where I was hosting a function that was inevitably crashed for reasons unknown by my walking anthrax attack of a former lover and her blissfully ignorant husband. I was going around introducing myself to people, making sure they had everything they needed and found myself talking to a lady friend who'd shown up unexpectedly. The conversation went on for a while when she nudged me and quietly asked why my former was staring a whole in the back of her head. Later that evening, after they'd both left, a couple of the guys were talking with me about the disrespect of The Tumor showing up to clearly show off the new guy.

Friend: Yeah, that was foul. I'm surprised you didn't throw her out.

Me: I would have, but I don't want slut on my hands. That shit gets into your clothes and you won't get the smell out for days.

Friend: That's funny.

Me: Who's laughing? I still have stuff that smells like patchouli and wheatgrass.

Friend: **chuckles** Yeah, you don't need to worry about her. You're better off. She's not exactly...

Me: Not exactly what?

Friend: Well...she's kinda big, you know?

Me: .....

Friend: And, I mean, she has kids. That's two strikes.

Me: Is it?

Friend: Now, you need to be concerned with that sexy thing you were talking to all night.

Me: That....is complicated.

Friend: I mean, there's clearly an attraction there.

Me: Only an attraction. She's spoken for.

Friend: You need to do something about that.

Me: I don't break up happy homes.

Friend: Funny how I didn't see him here.

Me: He's probably at home with their child, man.

Friend: Oh, she has a kid. Well, that's one strike.

Here's another instance where a guy didn't really know either party that well and preceded to judge her worthiness for a monogamous relationship by two things: looks and children. For all he knew, she could have been a known felon. She could have been crazy, jealous, intellectually inferior or any number of things that should take someone out of the running. Why do men do this to each other? My theory is that men who are already in relationships are desperate to drag other men into the same complacency they find themselves in as a twisted form of fellowship.

Another working theory of mine is that it's because men are just plain incompetent when giving advice about women.

Or it could very well just be like this in the South. I haven't quite decided.