"...In Which Lennon Calls Out a Backpedaler..."

One of the most fun things about being single is that you get to watch things go full circles. You get to watch people tell you they're not looking for relationships when they really are. You get to watch evil exes preach on Facebook about what you shouldn't put up with from a man when you know for a fact that's exactly what they put up with (from you AND the guy after you). More to the point of today's post, it is inevitable that you'll run into the occasional "backpedaler."

It wasn't so long ago that I was a lanky Peter Parker of a man. Intellectually capable, but just a bit awkward. I held my own with the opposite sex, but my batting average wasn't exactly one to brag about. I got dissed just as much as I succeeded (if not more than)...especially by one young lady in particular. I was working on a video project at the time that required several street interviews when I, by chance, ran into this endearingly southern woman who was willing to be on camera for a few minutes. After the interview, I thanked her for her time and as an afterthought, asked her if she'd be willing to meet up for a cup of coffee sometime. She politely passed and we went about our separate directions.

It wasn't the last time I saw her, of course. We turned out to be on opposite ends of the same social circles. We ran into each other quite often and, as someone who's very honest about what he wants, I made no secret of my intentions. My advances were spurned quite regularly for gym junkies, jerks and men with tight shirts. Fast forward a few years later...I work out more often and although I don't quite look like Spartacus, it's noticable that I'm in decent shape. I look better, I have a better job than before...suddenly a woman who has never interacted with me on Facebook texts me everyday. I even get pet names like "handsome", "cutie", "babe." In all likelihood, I'll be in a position to be able to sleep with her within (rough estimate) two or three dates.

I don't say this as some testament to my own arrogance. It's quite the opposite, in fact. Other than a couple of pushups and a slightly bigger paycheck, I'm the same old Lennon. My circumstances haven't changed so much that I'm that much more significant a catch. What's the catalyst here? It's always been my philosophy that a true judge of character comes from watching how people treat someone they don't "have to" treat well. The real educational moment comes when people feel they're not being evaluated and you can see them for who they really are. It's not that I don't appreciate the karma (if you believe in that sort of thing) at work, but I submit that "backpedalers" are the most suspicious kind of people there are.